By Lizzie Macaulay
I have asked a range of mums across the Fraser Coast to answer the same list of questions, to share their voices on Motherhood. And in solidarity, I am answering them too.
Answers by me, Lizzie Macaulay
What’s the one thing about being a mum that nobody warned you about? And would you have listened if they had?
I mean, everyone has an opinion on parenthood, and how best to do it, or what’s the worst thing about it, or… insert new thing here… there are plenty of warnings to go round, that almost feels like threats. I think maybe the thing that has blindsided me so far is how desperately I want to ‘get it right’ and, in doing so, so often get it so wrong. Would I have listened to sound advice on the matter? I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by so many strong, experienced, excellent parents who have already walked the path I’m on – I respect their advice no end!
What’s something you’ve completely let go of since becoming a mum? And how does it feel to have let it go?
Gosh, this is a difficult one. I know how I’m likely supposed to answer this one – something about perfectionism or control or something, but I’d be lying if I said I’d completely let go in those two regards – I’m a work in progress there! Come to think of it, I’m a work in progress across the board!
What do you know now that you wish you could whisper to yourself on day one?
They will see you, and all of your flaws, and love you anyway – try to give yourself the same level of acceptance and compassion.
What’s the moment – big or small – that made you think “yes, I’m actually doing alright at this”?
Lol. I don’t think this counts. I don’t take credit for this, but… Like most kids, my two are constantly on the love/hate rollercoaster. They bicker and tattle and disagree a good proportion of the time, but my favourite thing is when I hear little giggles from the back of the car, or watching them work together to create a new ‘world’. Those are the times I think, “We’re going to be OK…”
Is there a version of yourself from before kids that you miss? And is there one you don’t miss at all?
Actually, I’m thrilled with the me that has been created through parenthood in a lot of ways. Pre-kids, I was a bit passive and aimless. Raising two girls sure focused me on setting the example for them, no matter what, and carving the path to make more possible for them and their futures.
In saying that, the version of me that had more spare time was pretty fun, haha.
What’s the most unexpected thing your kids have taught you?
Before kids, I never knew the moments people need the most compassion are also the moments you’re least likely to feel like giving it.
What do you hope your kids say about you one day? (Not in a speech, just to a mate over dinner?)
She was fierce. She loved us deeply.
If motherhood had an honest tagline (not a Hallmark card, the real one), what would yours be?
Haha, just as I had my first daughter, I read a mummy blog that said: “Lower your expectations, and lower them again.”
I know that sounds pretty negative on the surface, but I think we can get caught in the coulds and the should-bes of it all. If we can do our best to expect less and just enjoy what is, I think we’d all be a lot happier.
Answers by Kristy Pongi
What’s the one thing about being a mum that nobody warned you about? And would you have listened if they had?
Definitely wouldn’t have listened if they had told me. I knew it all before I was a mum (apparently), and well – I was definitely wrong.
No one told me how much brain fog you get, and then combine that with all the “open tabs” in your brain. Your head becomes overloaded, and the stress rises when the kids are constantly making noise when you’re thinking… it becomes a lot and too overwhelming.
What’s something you’ve completely let go of since becoming a mum?
Being in control. It’s never on my time anymore. Oh, and… having privacy, going to the toilet, or showering.
What do you know now that you wish you could whisper to yourself on day one?
Breathe ….. the storms will pass and your kids will love you no matter what. No matter how many mistakes you make, they will be there for a cuddle at the end of the day. You are their world, and to be unconditionally loved is undeniably the best thing ever!
What’s the moment – big or small – that made you think “yes, I’m actually doing alright at this”?
When you get the cuddle after a day of yelling and being stressed and overwhelmed, and your kid says, “I love you even when you’re cranky”
Is there a version of yourself from before kids that you miss? And is there one you don’t miss at all?
I miss the spontaneous me. Planning a quick overseas trip, a weekend holiday. Unfortunately, with three kids under seven, it means I can’t just throw them in a car and go do something wild. I need to plan, pack and budget! Always need to throw in water, lunches, spare clothes, hats, scooters… blah blah blah.
I don’t miss how selfish I was. The small dramas that were really not even worth a second thought. The overthinking about how others perceived me. It’s silly – and really not important.
What’s the most unexpected thing your kids have taught you?
Acceptance, even though you make mistakes and no judgement.
What do you hope your kids say about you one day? (Not in a speech, just to a mate over dinner?)
We had the best childhood, and we are so loved
If motherhood had an honest tagline (not a Hallmark card, the real one), what would yours be?
I would have a few:
No one speaks to me before I have my coffee…
I just sat down ….
It’s 7 am, and it feels like lunch time already…
Answers by Kristy Wright
What’s the one thing about being a mum that nobody warned you about? And would you have listened if they had?
Nobody warned me how individual motherhood actually is. Everyone throws around well-meaning advice like there’s some universal manual, but none of it really translates to your own experience, your personality, or the way your own upbringing sits inside you.
Your relationship with your own parents quietly shapes how you show up as a mum, whether you realise it or not.
If someone had told me anything useful, it would have been this: take the time to understand who you are before you bring another human into the world. And no… I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway.
What’s something you’ve completely let go of since becoming a mum? And how does it feel to have let it go?
Control. Or at least the illusion of it. Early on, I thought being a good parent meant managing every outcome. The truth is, you can’t. Kids are their own people. They’ll make mistakes, take wrong turns, ignore your advice and learn things the hard way.
Your job isn’t to control the path. It’s to walk beside them while they figure it out. It’s terrifying… but also weirdly freeing.
What do you know now that you wish you could whisper to yourself on day one?
Just be there. Don’t take it personally when they reject your advice, your opinions, or even you for a while. They’re not rejecting you, they’re building themselves.
Let them grow, push away when they need to, and figure things out. Just make sure they always know the door back to you is open.
What’s the moment – big or small – that made you think “yes, I’m actually doing alright at this”?
Still waiting.
Is there a version of yourself from before kids that you miss? And is there one you don’t miss at all?
I had my kids when I was very young, so I don’t really have a clear “before kids” version of myself.
What I do remember is putting a lot of pressure on myself to fight stereotypes. I was strict. Hard on myself. Very rigid. I didn’t give myself much room to bend.
Raising another human is emotionally draining, especially when you’re still growing up yourself.
I don’t miss that version of me. But I respect her. She was doing the best she knew how.
What’s the most unexpected thing your kids have taught you?
At some point, you stop being the main influence in their lives.
Friends, partners, workplaces and the wider world start shaping them in ways you can’t control.
And you have to be okay with that.
What do you hope your kids say about you one day? (Not in a speech, just to a mate over dinner?)
“She was stubborn as hell… but she had a strong heart. You just had to learn her language.”
If motherhood had an honest tagline (not a Hallmark card, the real one), what would yours be?
You don’t own them. You guide them. Then you step aside.
Answers by Jemima Clare
What’s the one thing about being a mum that nobody warned you about? And would you have listened if they had?.
Breastfeeding is possibly harder than giving birth.
What’s something you’ve completely let go of since becoming a mum? And how does it feel to have let it go?
A tidy home, it’s hard to let go, but now it’s amazing, it’s your kids having a childhood.
What do you know now that you wish you could whisper to yourself on day one?
Don’t be scared, it’s incredible, and they are incredible.
What’s the moment – big or small – that made you think “yes, I’m actually doing alright at this”?
Hearing “Mummy, I love you”.
Is there a version of yourself from before kids that you miss? And is there one you don’t miss at all?
A version of me with energy answers both.
What’s the most unexpected thing your kids have taught you?
Patients in putting a seat belt on.
What do you hope your kids say about you one day? (Not in a speech, just to a mate over dinner?)
Mum was always there, and she loved us wholeheartedly.
If motherhood had an honest tagline (not a Hallmark card, the real one), what would yours be?
It’s relentless but worth it.
Answers by Kylie Hunt
What’s the one thing about being a mum that nobody warned you about? And would you have listened if they had?
Nobody really prepares you for how quickly childhood passes. Now that my daughter is 16, I find myself wishing I’d paused more often, taken deeper breaths, and truly savoured the ordinary days. At the time, you’re just trying to get through the chaos. If someone had warned me, I’d like to think I would have listened – but I suspect I had to learn it for myself.
What’s something you’ve completely let go of since becoming a mum? And how does it feel to have let it go?
I let go of my own time. When my daughter was younger, she needed so much of me, and naturally, I gave it. My days, and often nights, revolved around her. In the past few years, I’ve basically been Mum’s taxi at all hours, seven days a week. At the time, it just felt like part of the job. It was busy and sometimes exhausting, but it was also purposeful. I was exactly where I needed to be. Now that she’s older and more independent, I’m slowly getting some of that time back. It feels a little strange, a little freeing, and a little bittersweet all at once. I’m proud of the young woman she’s becoming, even if it means I’m not needed in quite the same way anymore.
What do you know now that you wish you could whisper to yourself on day one?
Everything is going to be okay. In those early days of motherhood, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and question whether you’re doing enough, especially during the emotionally challenging moments. What I know now is that love, patience, and simply showing up every day is what truly matters. You grow alongside your child, and before you know it, those tiny babies become incredible young people. Looking back, I would tell myself to trust my instincts, give myself more grace, and enjoy the little moments along the way.
What’s the moment – big or small – that made you think “yes, I’m actually doing alright at this”?
I’m not sure there was one specific moment that defined it for me. Motherhood is full of ups and downs as your child moves through different stages. Some days feel like a big, blurry mess where you’re just trying to keep up, and other days everything feels calm and easy. For me, the reassurance comes from seeing that my daughter is happy, healthy, and growing into a kind young person. That’s when I quietly think to myself, “Okay, I must be doing something right.”
Is there a version of yourself from before kids that you miss? And is there one you don’t miss at all?
I think every mum occasionally misses the version of herself who had a little more freedom and spontaneity. Before kids, you could make plans on a whim, sleep in, or have a quiet moment without thinking about anyone else’s needs. But at the same time, there’s a version of me from before motherhood that I don’t miss at all. Becoming a mum has given me a deeper sense of purpose, patience, and perspective. It’s taught me what really matters and helped me grow into a stronger, more compassionate person. So while life looks very different now, I wouldn’t trade this version of myself for anything.
What’s the most unexpected thing your kids have taught you?
Patience. Before becoming a mum, I didn’t realise just how much patience life would ask of me. Children grow, learn, and move through the world at their own pace, and you quickly learn that you can’t rush that. Motherhood has taught me to slow down, take a breath, and meet moments with understanding rather than frustration. It’s a lesson that has shaped not only how I parent, but how I approach life more generally.
What do you hope your kids say about you one day? (Not in a speech, just to a mate over dinner?)
I hope one day my daughter simply says, “My mum is my best friend.” Not because we were always the same or agreed on everything, but because she knows I’ve always been in her corner.
I hope she feels that she could talk to me about anything, laugh with me, and know she was always supported and loved. At the end of the day, if she feels safe, understood, and proud to call me her mum, then I’ll know I’ve done something right.
If motherhood had an honest tagline (not a Hallmark card, the real one), what would yours be?
“Motherhood – equal parts love, chaos, laughter and ‘what on earth just happened?’”
