by Kodie Axelsen
Love. Everyone wants it. Love stories are sold as the highlight reel, the first kiss, the “we just clicked,” the cute holidays, the big moments. But the real love story? That’s what happens when life turns up with bills, pressure, kids, unexpected curveballs and a week that’s eating you alive.
And that’s where money shows up. Not as romance, as reality. This week, I had a conversation with someone who told me they were “never going to be able to buy a house.” That was the story. The storm. They’d heard it from a mate, their parents, and some bloke at a BBQ who swore the banks “won’t touch you” unless you’ve got a perfect income, no debt and a unicorn in the backyard. So naturally, they stopped trying. It reminded me of something I see all the time: people take one opinion, one bad experience, one bit of outdated advice, and they build their whole future around it. They decide it’s impossible, so they don’t even look for a plan. And that’s the same thing people do in relationships.
One fight turns into “we’re not compatible.” One tough season turns into “maybe we’re not meant to be.” One financial mistake turns into “you can’t be trusted.” One pay cut turns into “we’ll never get ahead.”
Perception is powerful. And when you don’t have the right advice or the right tools, the storm feels bigger than it is. Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes the storm is big. Sometimes people are carrying debt, pressure, insecurity, and they’re doing it quietly.
Sometimes one person is in control of the money, and the other one feels like a child asking for permission. Sometimes money is used as leverage. Sometimes love turns into survival mode. Money is power because it gives choices. The choice to pay the bills without panic. The choice to say no. The choice to leave. The choice to start over.
The choice to build a life that feels safe. But money can also be a weapon if it’s hidden, controlled, avoided or used to keep score. That’s why I think the strongest love stories aren’t built on “we never argue.” They’re built on honesty and teamwork. Two people who can sit at a table and look at the numbers without it turning into blame. Two people who can say, “This is where we’re at. This is where we want to be. Let’s build a plan.”
Because when you’re on the same team, money stops being the monster under the bed. It becomes a tool. A tool to buy a home. A tool to create stability. A tool to take pressure off. A tool to build freedom. And if you’ve got a goal, property, a family, travel, whatever it is, it becomes easier to save when you’ve got a carrot dangling at the end. The goal gives meaning to the sacrifice. It turns “we can’t” into “we’re choosing not to, because we’re building something bigger.”
What I want people to understand is this: most situations aren’t hopeless. Most love stories don’t end because the storm arrived. They ended because no one knew how to navigate it. And the fix is rarely dramatic. It’s usually boring, simple, consistent stuff: clear communication, a plan, shared expectations, accountability, good advice from the right people.
You wouldn’t take relationship advice from Joe Blow at the pub. So don’t take money advice from your dad’s friend who got a mortgage 30 years ago. Don’t make lifelong decisions based on someone else’s fear. Had I listened to others’ fears, I would not have the property portfolio I have now.
Like the ocean, love has rough days. Some seasons will humble you. But there’s usually a sunset at the end of the storm, if you’re willing to look for it. If you don’t know how, get help. Not when it’s on fire, but before it gets there! I promise if you have the conversations with the right people, the load will feel much lighter. There’s always options, you just need to find the right advice to help guide the way.