Written and photographed by Russ Benning
@russbenningphotography https://russbenningphotography.com/
It’s that time of year again folks!
Allow me to be the first one to wish you a happy festive season full of food, family and festivities!
Decorations are going up, businesses are in a mad rush trying to finish those last jobs before they break, and of course the Christmas theme shopping has been available at supermarkets since the Halloween hype was over.
As we near the end of year I find it’s a great time to ponder and reflect on the year that’s been and turn my attention to what I’d like to achieve and indeed become in the year to come.
Since the interview that took place for this article, I’ve also been pondering something else entirely.
Above I make reference to family being a core part of this time of year as a general rule. And like all rules, there are exceptions.
For some, this time of year, can actually be the opposite of each of those things. For some the celebration of family can be triggering and extremely painful.
What if you have no family? What if your family environment is so dangerous or toxic you were forced to part with it? What if your family unit stayed in tact but you find yourselves collectively without food or shelter?
For some it can be less ‘Yee-haa’ and more ‘Hell nah’.
I explore this exception with this months guest/angel.
A man who chooses to send himself in to bat for this unfortunate demographic.
Marty Erlandson is a man who I had a very deep and emotional conversation with about these such people and circumstances.
My intention is not to make this piece negative in nature, in fact the opposite. I want it to either give hope or show some perspective.
I’m instantly put at ease as I meet Marty and his adorable service dog Barney. I already got the impression this was a kind and friendly man on the phone as we arranged our meeting.
As I look into his eyes I see there is so much coexisting love and pain.
“I actually really believe I was born to do it. I feel it’s my calling in life.” He shares with me in reference to his twenty years as a paramedic.
I realise later in our exchange that actually, his calling is not constrained to just that part of his career.
He goes on, “The reason I say that is because I know there are people who after my interaction with them. Had more time on the earth, because of what I did, you know”
Again, applying perfectly to what he is currently involved in.
An unfortunate chapter in his book of life occurs in 2013 when he is medically retired due to severe post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
He shares how hard it has been for him and details on his recovery (including the fateful addition to his little family, Barney the wonder dog!).
“I’ve actually gotten more understanding and insight from veterans. They gave me permission and acceptance for what it is.
Their acceptance and insight is invaluable for me coming to terms with it.”
He tells me how confused he was about having a disorder typically only associated with military persons. Along his journey he discovers it’s more common than he first thought and there is a quote in his industry to reflect this; “Same injury, different battlefield.”
On some of the darker days during his rehabilitation he shares feeling times of hopelessness and worthlessness.
He explains that being in a role that is so focused on helping people in often their own darkest days, lead to feelings of comparative inadequacy.
“The fact that I worked in that line of work for so long, it became a part of who I am.”
His statement, once again is perfectly applicable to his current situation.
In July last year (2023), an organisation called DrugARM, expanded into the Maryborough region. An organisation, in it’s many iterations, dating back 175 years, older than the Red Cross for those playing at home.
The ARM stands for; Awareness, Rehabilitation and Management. Yes, it’s for people dealing with drug issues but also, and I would argue more prominently, it deals with homelessness.
Marty was invited to join the organisation and he was a perfect match. It was exactly what he needed to fill his need and desire of giving back and helping his community, and he was exactly what they needed as so much of what he learned as a paramedic, and indeed his core nature were transferable.
“You get to be there for people in what’s mostly their worst time, and you get to bring stability and calm to a chaotic situation.”
I learned a lot about the homelessness issue and the people that end up in that situation.
We share a laugh as we consider the absurd hypothetical situation of young children planning to be in this situation the way they would choose to pursue being an astronaut or a palaeontologist.
Sadly we’re at a point in history where the homeless situation is at a high point, partly due to the housing rising and inflated cost of living. He informs me that it’s both individuals and families also.
Mental health and behavioural issues are some other causes.
Escaping domestic violence situations is another, one which is especially sad due to the extreme circumstances that would lead to this.
“We’re pack animals, we’re supposed to want to have other people around. So to get the point where you don’t want that, or you need to self medicate, whatever your poison, it’s a tragic place to be.”
I admire the degree of compassion he shows for them. The absence of judgement is a large part of his character.
A majority of his role as a volunteer support worker for DrugARM is to firstly find, then develop relationships with the members of our community that find themselves in such hard times. Trust being very difficult for a majority of them due to their incredibly traumatic pasts.
He shares a couple of stories that are not fit for print, and we both share a tear.
He acknowledges that the average person in society looks down on the homeless, not understanding how deep and complex the issue itself is as well as the degree of trauma that leads there.
His advice to the general public who encounters such people is, “Be kind and be patient. Don’t judge them. Try to understand the circumstances that lead them to this situation. If it’s within their means, buy them a hamburger or a drink or something.”
He explains that the problem as a whole is not so easy to fix. It’s very complicated and there’s not enough resources dedicated to solving it.
That’s where men and women like Marty truly take the role of real life angels, giving their time and resources with no expectation of reward. The sense of purpose and the rewarding nature of changing destitute persons lives and again, giving them a reason to live and have more time on this planet is enough.
I enjoyed my time with Marty and Barney. I felt both saddened and then ultimately uplifted in the same short meeting.
I feel family can come in many forms and I guess in a way it depends on how far you zoom out.
It appears the community is a part of Marty’s family and they’re lucky to have him.
I told you at the start that this was never meant to be a negative piece.
For some readers, the unfortunate few without a stable home this festive season, I hope this gives them hope. That they are seen, that Marty and his team (and so many others who share his compassion) are doing all that they can to bring food and bedding and moral support and so much more. That it’s going to get better.
And for the rest of the readers I hope this gives a little perspective.
If you have all your basic needs met and you’re in a stable environment, maybe you can take a moment recognise how lucky you really are.
If you have family around, maybe you should hug them a little tighter and tell them you love them this Christmas.
At the end of the day we’re all part of one big, global family called humanity, so how about we celebrate that and have a little more compassion for each other?
How about we choose to make this festive season the best one yet for all of our loved ones and even those less fortunate than ourselves?
Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year to you all from all of the Alive team!
If you would like to help please contact Drugarm.com.au
