Written by Jon van Wyk
As a middle-aged man navigating the treacherous waters of modern technology, I often feel as though I am drowning in a sea of smartphones and social media. With each new gadget that graces my life, I find myself sinking deeper into the abyss of confusion, frustration and sometimes, accidental brilliance.
Looking back now, I realise that everything started with what I thought at the time was an innocent smartphone upgrade. Proudly displaying my shiny new device to all and sundry, I embarked on a journey into the unknown world of touchscreens and apps, assuming somehow, that I would suddenly absorb everything I needed to know by osmosis. It was only later that I realised that my trusty old flip phone had actually been my shield against the complexities of the digital age.
The first hurdle came in the form of autocorrect – a devious little feature that seemed hell-bent on turning my innocent texts into nonsensical and sometimes embarrassing gibberish. From accidentally confessing my undying love for ‘autoeroticism’ instead of ‘auto mechanics’ to inviting friends to a ‘ducking’ party instead of a ‘drinking’ party, my smartphone quickly became my nemesis.
Sadly, it didn’t end there. As I attempted to master the art of emojis, I found myself inadvertently sending a string of thumbs-up and crying-laughing faces during serious conversations – much to the confusion of my unsuspecting recipients. Who knew that an emoji with tears of laughter could be so easily misconstrued for one crying tears of sadness – I dare you try using the laughing one when you are trying to console a friend after a serious relationship breakdown.
Delving ever deeper into the digital rabbit hole, I encountered the dreaded world of social media. From mistakenly posting a selfie with my thumb covering the camera lens to inadvertently liking my ex-girlfriend’s vacation photos from five years ago, my online presence was a comedy of errors.
In spite of the trail of wreckage resulting from countless technological mishaps, I gradually began to embrace the chaos. After all, who needs a functioning printer when you can accidentally email a neighbour your grocery list instead? And who needs a reliable GPS when you can stumble upon hidden gems in your own city while driving around hopelessly lost?
So here’s to those of us, the technologically illiterate, bravely navigating the minefield of technology – may we forever embrace our ineptitude with a sense of humour and a healthy dose of patience; heaven knows we need it. In the meantime I’m looking to the day when I finally figure out how to program the microwave without setting off the smoke alarm. Or not. After all, where’s the fun in being a tech-savvy wizard when you can be a bumbling digital magician?
Album of the month
Dare! – The Human League
If the eighties are to be remembered for anything besides fashion, makeup and a brave new technological world, it would have to be the pioneering use of synths in music, which were part of the abrupt departure from punk in the late seventies.
Released in October of 1981, Dare! heralded the dawn of the synth age at the beginning of the eighties perfectly, with its liberal use of synthesisers and an ‘avant garde’ use of fashion and modern art, to blend with memorable tunes, many of which are still in regular rotation on radio today. The original and quirky use of electronic instruments on Dare! immediately struck a chord with listeners, and explains why it still sounds startlingly original decades after its original release, despite the fact the technology used on the album may have dated.
The songs on the album have also stood the test of time, whether the eeriness of “Seconds,” the anti-anthem like “The Things That Dreams Are Made Of,” or the dance club buzz of “Love Action (I Believe in Love).” Let’s not forget the ear candy genius of “Don’t You Want Me,” the go-to song of bad relationships even today, it would have to be one of the greatest pop riffs ever to come out of the eighties. Dare! to take a trip back to the eighties with this master class in synth.
