Written by David Everett
Love or crushes can sometimes make us do some strange things. I’m not talking about putting up with bad behaviour from the other person which could cause harm or be dangerous. That’s a whole other story which I’ll mention at the end. I’m talking about those cringe-worthy ‘Oh my god I can’t believe I did that’ or ‘Really? You thought that would win me over?’ types of activities.
We all have them or know of someone who has a story to tell. Love of course does make you do entirely wonderful or downright sensible things too. Let’s start with the odd stuff first.
Now those who know me, know about my terrible memory. They probably have much more shaking of the head stories about me than I recall. However, I’ll go with what I remember – most of which were in my teen years.
How about the time I rode my bike for an hour over hilly terrain to ask out a girl who I’d seen working in a newsagency just one week earlier. I immediately crushed on her. It never occurred to me that she might not be working that day.
Or even what she would think of some sweaty teen, she had never met, asking her out on a date. Youthful optimism took care of that. Turns out she wasn’t working that day, so I never found out what she would have said.
Or that time in winter I got up at 5am every day for a week to ride across to the other side of the suburb. My early morning mission was to anonymously leave lyrics from a song in the screen door of a girl I liked before I finally identified myself and asked her out. Happily, she said yes despite the embarrassment of the notes being found (for the first few days) by her parents. We dated for a
short time and I honestly don’t remember what happened.
Until I met my wife I never lasted in a relationship longer than six weeks.
Back then I probably drifted away after the initial burst of excited love had dissipated.
There was however that significant time in my love life. I racked up a large international phone bill calling my then ex-girlfriend who was at the time living in Augusta Georgia. I would fall asleep soon after the call connected because I had to get up in the middle of the night to make the call, and was already tired from a heavy day at work. Thanks Mum & Dad for covering that one!
Maybe they knew she was a worthy investment, because after moving back to Australia we got back together and we’ve never looked back. Now happily married for over 22 years we have four wonderful kids together. This happy ending does move into the sensible part of what love can do, and thankfully away from the opportunity for my friends to share embarrassing stories of my
youthful love life. I had this habit of singing You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling at a girl’s front door after watching Top Gun and thinking it was a good idea.
It wasn’t!
The sensibility of love comes into it when love allows us to ask and confirm these questions. Is the person right for me? Surely, I don’t need to look any further than him/her/them despite there being another 25 million people in Australia and about another 7.7 billion in the rest of the world to choose from?
Could my wife do better than me?
I’m prepared to admit that when looking at those numbers, and even after discounting those of the wrong age and gender, she absolutely could have done better. I am fine with that because, happily she drew the line at me and said ‘I will’ and then followed through on it.
Of course, I could never do better than her. I punched above my weight and got first prize and I’m not just saying that because she proof reads all of my From The Shed writings. Definitely not that!
Now, I’m not advocating to settle for what is available at this very moment. I’m just saying to recognise the value of the person you have. If they do make you happy now, and you believe that they still will into the future, then surely there is enough to give it a red hot go.
As a health professional I’ve seen the aftermath of violence. Don’t accept bad behaviour, you deserve so much more and if they are telling or treating you like you don’t, run away as fast as you can. If you need help or advice, call DV Connect on 1800 811 811 or reach out to a trusted friend
or family member.