Written by Bec Dudley
I have been a step-mum for over 20 years and I have learnt a lot in this time. Being a role model for three little children and witnessing them grow up to lead happy, fulfilled lives has been one of life’s greatest blessings.
However, my greatest joy has been to stand beside my husband gently guiding and watching him grow to be the best version of himself, so he can be the best dad possible for his kids. It has not always been easy and it takes great strength to be a step-parent – you have to bring something
extra to the table!
So, what do I mean by ‘being a role model step-parent’? Well we have all heard the fables of the ‘wicked step-parent’. I am saying you need to be the opposite of that!
Your greatest role will be to support your partner first, and second, love your step-children unconditionally.
If things started to get tough, or I felt at a loss not knowing what to do, I have always asked myself the following questions:
How can I help my husband be a better dad?
What do my step-kids need from me; knowing they already have a mum and dad?
What little ‘extras’ can I bring to the relationships of my step-children and husband?
How can I make the transition (of when it was our turn to have the kids) as seamless as possible for all?
What do I need for me?
The answers to my questions have always guided me in the direction to make the right choices for our family.
Your home is the foundation of your life. Your day starts and stops here. So be intentional with the energy you allow into your home. Never speak of the other parent in a negative way, to, or in front of, your step-children.
Your step-children already have enough to navigate. Save the ‘adult’ talk for you and your partner.
Being a step-parent is super rewarding. As well as giving your step-kids another ‘parental adult’ from which to role model, you will also gain life skills that will hold you in good stead in all other areas of your life.