Written by Celine Louie
Let me tell you straight up, Ronnie won’t greet you with an idle handshake, or simple hello. Rather, prepare to be enveloped in a long-lasting, endorphin releasing, melt your worries away, kind of hug.
This woman exudes warmth, it emanates out to all of those fortunate enough to cross her path; this woman is a healer with a heart that has touched many.
It’s no secret that Ronnie Benbow OAM, founding director of The Carers Foundation, is on a mission to help any carer in need. But while the need is certainly greater than what is humanly possible- no matter how determined the human is leading the charge- this has not deterred Ronnie from pursuing her life’s calling.
Ronnie was stirred into action 45 years ago at the tender age of 17, while training to become a registered nurse. Working in the community she noticed that many carers were in worse health than the people they were caring for, which led her to wonder, who was caring for these carers?
She tells the story of a life-changing event that set the trajectory for the rest of her life. A story so tragically heartbreaking it is hard to hold back the tears.
“When I was working in the community nursing sector, one of our clients was a beautiful lady who had had a devastating stroke. We would go in there each day to bathe her. Her 15 year old son Tom, was there 24 hours a day because there was no dad. He had no friends, no interests and had to give up school,” Ronnie recounts.
“It used to bother me because I was only 17 at the time. Tom was doing it all alone- turning his mum every few hours, doing personal hygiene, feeding her, cooking for her, doing things he should never have had to do. It was such a huge responsibility for a 15 year old.”
“I would always check in on him, but then two years later, shortly after his mum had been put into care, he committed suicide because he could no longer cope with the extreme stress of caring, ” she explains sadly.
“That had a profound impact on me. I realised this had all happened because he was isolated and had no support. So at the age of 19, I declared that one day, I was going to establish a healing centre specifically for carers. A place where they could be cared for, educated and empowered, allowing them to recover from the impacts of caring.”
Ronnie continued her nursing career, married Michael and went on to have four sons, until she ironically became a carer herself- in more ways than one. First, when her husband suffered a near-fatal accident during a family holiday in Noosa. He was out in the waves teaching his four boys to body surf, when he was dumped by a wave and landed on his chin, paralyzing him.
Then one of her sons had a chronic medical condition that almost claimed his life numerous times, all whilst caring for both her aging parents. Living in Cairns at the time, Ronnie gave up her nursing to care for her husband- it was a slow recovery but thankfully he healed and is walking again.
Once the kids were older the family made the move to Brisbane. Ronnie felt her time had come to realise her dream of supporting carers in need. On a mission to gain financial support, she was shocked to discover that there was no funding available for carers. Undeterred she set up privately funded workshops and proceeded to run these for 15 years, until her dad suffered a fatal stroke in 2014.
“Dad was my savior, he was such a beautiful soul. I probably still haven’t grieved to this day, because that’s when I decided to set up the foundation to care for carers full time. I thought that’s it, I’m going to do it before I’m the one that needs care.”
The Carers Foundation charity was set up in 2015. Ronnie recalls how hard it was to raise money despite her best efforts, and it wasn’t until a pre-election commitment by Peter Dutton came to fruition, that her programs got the kick-start they needed.
“The only condition was that Turnbull got in, which he did. People told me we wouldn’t get the money. I rang them every week until they got sick of me. In the end I think it was like ‘For God’s sake, give her the money, shut her up!’ We got $400,000 and that gave us the start we needed.” She recalls with a smile.
Following that, she also received a large grant from Coca-Cola Australia that has enabled her to add some extra focus onto the young carers in need. Alarmingly, statistics show that one in nine children are carers to some capacity- that’s three kids in every classroom.
“They’re all my passion because of Tom. All these kids are unidentified in the community, they don’t talk about it, and they’re usually bullied and missing school. They may be helping mum with their autistic brother, or their dads had a stroke, or mums got cancer- you just don’t know and they won’t talk about it.” She explains.
Fund-raising plays a key part in the charities ability to continue offering the support to those in need, the irony being that Ronnie finds herself spending more time raising funds, than in her core purpose of caring for carers. Grant applications, and organising events take up most of her time. Undeterred, Ronnie has recently come up with a solution to help in her fund-raising efforts.
“I’ve come up with an idea of the Unsung Heroes, which is an annual event where I’m inviting eight to ten socially conscious leaders in our community to fundraise with the aim of getting $20,000 each. Last year’s gala raised $350,000 which was huge. One lady raised $180,000 on her own.”
“We want to build an emergency care centre, so carers can get away, get a decent meal and the sleep they need. We’ll also run programs from there. Since the big gala last year we’ve had interest. We have an architect and a builder on board, so we just need to find the land, or find the property. I don’t care where it is. I won’t give up until we get that centre,” Ronnie states, with a determination that she clearly demonstrates in everything she does.
Her programs are designed to give carers the tools they need to safe-guard their mental and physical well-being. It allows them to cope on days when they are not coping, because at the moment there is little support and resources are limited. The Carers Foundation is the only charity in Australia that provides these programs at no cost to carers, and she runs them across QLD.
She’s seen firsthand how her programs have made a positive impact on those that reach out to her- the extensive list of heartfelt testimonials are tribute to all the hard work she puts in, and this is what keeps her powering on despite the adversities.
“For a carer to call, they’re at breaking point. They never reach out and ask for help before that. When you answer the phone their voice starts quivering and they generally break down and cry, I can be on the phone for an hour every time.”
Ronnie explains that despite the heavily funded government organisation, ‘Carers Queensland’, being the first point of call, people struggle to get through the overwhelmed phone lines. There is then a six week waiting time and resources in regional areas are limited- often people in need are referred back to Ronnies foundation for help.
In a health system plagued with inequality and fraud, where financial support is often given to those that know how to work the system, rather than based on needs, The Carers Foundation have continued to be a beacon of hope for those that feel there is no hope left.
Ronnie feels no shortage of frustration at our broken system and the dire needs of the forgotten carers out in the community.
The single mothers left to single-handedly care for their disabled children- for these are the majority.
The children, left to care for a parent, lost in a system they are too young to navigate.
Those that have pledged to care for those they love, despite the life sentence it imposes.
The Tom’s of our community – carers who feel that suicide is the only way out. And for the carers who continue to suffer, long after their loved-ones have passed.
We all know someone impacted by this issue, and there are no guarantees that we too won’t one day become carers for someone we love.
We can only hope that Ronnie and all those involved at The Carers Foundation will continue to gain the financial support required, providing hope to all of those that need them. Because as Ronnie firmly states, ‘No carer should ever be alone or unsupported’.
Reach out here http://www.thecarersfoundation.org or local Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1204491880962025/?ref=share_group_link&rdid=FaeXgK1VH2LtPFcy